2021: Where Reasons End

Where Reasons End by Yiyun Li is my favorite book of 2021.

Insert link here.

It is the shortest I’ve read this year.

And utmost luminous.

Trigger warning. As if.

A series of imaginary conversations between a mother and a teenage son who took his own life. If that sounds dark, it is. It is also redemptive in the scathing way art can be. And it’s also funny. Netflix stand-up producers wish. We all wish, don’t we?!

[Yiyun Li’s own son died on his own terms. All fiction is auto-biographical.]

I did not want this book to end. It was perfect. Line for line. I imagine Li did not want to finish writing it … I suppose that is a proper way to feel about life, living, being. As a survivor of suicide attempts, I know the “truth” is much more elusive. Sometimes reasons just end. Sometimes you get a chance to find them again. Sometimes the search for reasons to live becomes a reason in itself.

And then you get moments.

You get blueberries (!)

You put a song on repeat.

You do yoga as if you knew what it meant.

You re-read a line in a book, over and over.

You re-read a line a book.

Maybe it was just (for) this.

Things we remembered together, things we remembered differently, and things we remembered separately … To end up somewhere between doubt and regret, it was a maze I had decided not to set foot in.”

Where the Reasons End by Yiyun Li

[Insert yourself here.]

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